So You Say You Want To Feel Happy? Are You Willing To Do The Work?

I wasn't always happy.  No, in fact, I used to be quite sad; quite often.  I was angry.  I felt the world owed me something.  I hated my mother and the childhood that had fucked me up royally.  I didn't feel good about myself, my body, my future or what life might have had to offer me. 

So how did I get Happy?

In the fall of 2008 I started the journey of doing a whole lot of serious UN learning. 

I realized that it wasn't that I needed to study and learn a whole lot of new methods, ways, ideologies or systems of living.  What I found out was that I had to Rid myself of all of the methods, ways, ideologies and systems which were weighing me down and keeping me from moving forward.

Deprogramming

The first thing I did was start journaling gratitude and positive affirming. I picked up a cute little journal I could throw in my purse, and I made myself write in it throughout the day, things I was thankful for.  I went to my social networking sites.  I hid the posts of everyone who seemed to complain all of the time, and added more friends who shared positive statements during the day. I picked up a soft affirmation c.d. from the amazing Dr. Anne Presuel and listened to it in my car to and from work. It was filled with simple statements like:

"I am Beautiful."
"I am Kind."
"I am worthy of a good life."
"I am worthy of Happiness."

I spent an afternoon creating colorful sticky notes which I put up all over my apartment so that every where I looked, I saw positive statements telling me I am Divine, Worthy, Funny, Kind and Capable. I put them above my stove, on my doors, in the bathroom on the mirrors, everywhere I looked, there was love and compliments to read.

Once this was done, my next step was to take a good hard look at my life and start to weed out anything and any ONE who was not currently contributing to my growth and healing.

This didn't have to be done dramatically.  I simply allowed those people to fall by the wayside, and when they invited me out or over, I kindly said I was unable to make it.  Is this lying? Not really if you are unable to make it to a place where the environment isn't conducive to the positive environment you are choosing to gift yourself. You can’t make it because it wouldn’t be healthy for you!

The first couple of days that I did this, I felt a little bit silly, talking to myself in the mirror and telling myself how much I deserved to heal and smile.  Then a week went by, and I realized I was waking up feeling happier.  Then another week went by, and I realized that I was starting to crave and look forward to the joy I could find during my day.

This was the first step I took into the journey of re-training my thinking from being negative to positive.  

The most important thing I learned is that I HAD TO DO THE WORK!  Often, people ask me "How do I get That Happy?" and then when I tell them the work they need to do to cleanse the sadness and negativity and re-fill their life with joy, they drop off, unwilling to put in the time needed.   If you want to become happiness, joy and love You Have To Do The Work!

One of my favorite singers, Sia, has a lyric in one of her songs, Lullaby, and the line says "Make a wish upon a star.  Do the work, and you'll go far."

It took you years to be programmed through experience, surroundings and indoctrination to think the way you do right now.  It only takes a mere few days or a couple of weeks to clear it all and replace it with an immense amount of self love. 

Listen, not every day is perfect.  There are days when I struggle; days when I cry; days when I feel sad inside.  The difference is that I no longer hold onto that emotion and allow it to become me.  I let it flow, and then I turn towards the things which keep me happy and feeling great!

The key is, when you hear yourself saying "I can't", you catch yourself and say "Stop! Yes I Can!" and you believe it with all of your heart.  The result is that you will see the fruits of this labor, and once you see the fruits, you will understand how powerful it is to talk lovingly to yourself.

Do It! You Deserve It!