Silent Spaces

i wondered tonight
about the missing things,
about the way it is,
about new mysteries,
in ways I remembered yesterday,
and I smiled,
while the tears scratched,
at my dry eyes.

she got me last night,
she took me into dreams,
she became the whole of me,
and as I screamed for release,
I juggled memories,
like blood fruit, ripe,
until I finally let the
laughter subside,
and then I cried.

I wept for them; how they fight,
for the way they spend nights
marching, screaming,
chanting, demanding,
and I know it has arrived,
the new age where
hope never dies,
so why can't I feel
anything other than
the saddest parts of them?

Empathic torture, and I'm
always on the border between,
run and come,
mixed together, find the sum
where chaos meets peace,
and understandings mean
a cure for your disease,
but I'm not the chosen one,
just the most out spoken one.

I'm not a minute too soon,
and I'm reading these runes,
lain clean atop the sand dunes,
and i hear them crying
in their beds,
about how their lives,
are drowning in debt;
i, so overcome by doubt,
i'm reading road maps,
to find escape routes.

and I hold firm, ride the swells,
where the demons create hell,
call the guardians close,
like when I chose a
sunset over dinner time,
because the colors
felt divine.
i'm tempest rage,
wearing battle scars,
an angelic avatar,
I'm missing silence
a place to tuck my face,
a kiss for my dying,
and isn't my dance
so hypnotizing?

you appear like stallions,
disappear like mist,
leaving your aftermath's
bittersweet kiss,
and i feel angry,
that i tasted the wine,
that i let myself
slip this time,
but for now,
i watch the world go by,
watch the pyramids fly,
catching my smile
in mirrors,
where i appear
distant.

if things were different,
if i wasn't offbeat,
always a minute behind,
like a repeating eulogy,
a solitary wizard,
inquisitive, anxious,
seeing the world
through a canvas,
so i paint it, write it,
sing it and be it,
entertain myself with
exotic silliness;
so seriously
being the best of me.

i wondered tonight
about passing thoughts,
where lips meet for
a moment then part;
and i'm experiencing angst,
like the Devil captured me,
but I'm trying to be brave,
even when the
answer is empty space.

~vennie~

{copyright @ dbv publishing 2011}