Teardrop’s Daughter

forgive me,
for not being present
at your resurrection.
 
forgive me,
for escaping a while,
like i did as a child
when things went south,
filling me with doubt.

forgive me,
for the dark injection,
it wasn't my intention.
 
forgive me,
that i wasn't able,
to sit at your table,
i didn't feel worthy enough,
to drink from your cup.

forgive me,
for the absence of laughter,
for the noose hanging from my rafters.
 
forgive me,
my soul felt so sick,
my thoughts were manic,
i couldn't look you in the eye,
didn't want to know the reasons why.

forgive me,
for being so damaged,
for wanting to be ravaged.
forgive me,
my life's been shattered,
i churn inside disaster,
always fighting to stay alive,
struggling to let my spirit survive.

forgive me,
for moments of no smiles,
for being sorrow's poster child.
 
forgive me,
i've been cursed with a gift,
of carrying sin and giving atonement,
yearning escaping moments,
so my womb can release this.

forgive me,
for begging with these lashes,
for presenting you with my ashes.
 
forgive me,
for needing to be understood,
why i long for the safety of servitude,
i manage life on a balance beam,
as the winds attempt to crush me.

forgive me,
i sealed the deal on hell,
slept where the angels fell.
 
forgive me,
for not being human,
for spending moments assuming,
i'm furiously treading the waters,
son of sadness, teardrop's daughter.

forgive me

~vennie~
(copyright @ dbv publishing 2010)