Infinite Pinatas

I thought you loved me
Because I was new
Undiscovered territory
Waves of mystery
Not yet discovered
And once you had explored
The places you tore
You'd go away.

Years later as I sit quietly
Contemplating a log
Alone with the leaves
That whisper to me,
The violet tendrils
Of my hair remind me
Why you have remained.
Me, your free spirit.
Me, who keeps you alive.

I have become still with age
Where the questions dissipate
Into acceptance of things
Believed I'd be lonely
Yet loving being alone.

Now as I make my way
To perch a rock
Beside the bay tide,
Watching the kayaking arms
Paddle to the rocky shore
I wander to this one refrain
To the one who remained
Constant.

I don't feel the wistful angst
That made my wrists ache
When I couldn't bleed enough
And felt inspired by my pain.
I'm in moments that become
Like the soft breath of this sun
Warming my skin
As it sets.

Wandering to your adoration,
Humbling fascination,
I understand it is my energy
That lets you cling,
It is more than the physical me
And I kiss you on the mouth
Before I can speak it away
Chanting face you remind me
That there are ones who
Truly love me.

Gone are the days when
I needed presence,
When I begged for minutes
Time spent only for me
Like I wasn't whole alone.

Solitude has become my sister,
Oh, how I have missed her
Understanding my needs,
What it means to fully be me,
Where the flowers dance
And I'm grabbing chances
Like floating pinatas
Of infinite time.

I can smell your neck,
A hint of something
Unidentified
Making me quiver
On the inside,
And I sigh.

~v~

(copyright @ dbv publishing 2010)