You Knew Me In the Darkness. Do You Know Me In the Light?

As I have sat tonight, somewhat staring at this blank page, knowing I needed to write, I wasn’t quite sure of what I was to write. Well, I knew what I wanted to express. I just wasn’t quite sure of how I should express it. Until this moment, it has all come clear to me. So I write this with my heart, and I hope that it will come across appropriately.

I’ve journeyed these past few years, both inside of myself, regarding my choices, regarding how I have treated myself with such disdain and self abuse, allowing darkness and negativity to be my driving force. I have quickly over the last six months rapidly arrived at my Awakening. I hear the feedback around me, mostly from family, that there is a new glow about my body, a new glint in my eye and a new quietness about my spirit.

I understand what they’re saying. I feel just that. I feel a new joy in me, a new wonder for the world, a final confirmation to my own knowing that I absolutely cannot dispel, even as I am shedding all negative energy from around me and moving so very, very rapidly into this place of amazing oneness with myself, mankind and this planet.

So much of my life, my childhood, my experiences, my knowing makes perfect sense now. I had SO many questions. I had so many experiences of seeing things that were a part of my gifts, but were presented to me as evil. Now I understand that the only evil were those who stripped from me the very soul that chose to come here. All of the questions of why, which some still exist, but most no longer do, why I suffered so, why I was taken down the path I went, seemed to have been answered as I have returned to my wandering soul and re-acquainted myself with her purpose. I have met myself in the exact place I was supposed to, and I am here to do the work I came here to do.

I hold no judgment at this time, no adherence to any said doctrine, but instead I am open, willing and able to see the truth for exactly what it is. In this truth, I have been vocal, at times, really bursting with this joy, so much that I’ve wanted to share even PUSH it on those around me. In doing so, I have brought judgment to me. It seems that some of my “friends” have an opinion, even so far as to say they are "worried” for my sanity.

I have pondered this much in the past few days. I have even mulled over and hesitated in some of my postings, actually considering it to be necessary to have a regard for what others think of me. Again, a slipping into the old me that is quickly shedding. The old me, would have questioned my self, if there was some validity to the things my critics presented. The new me smiles. So much I want to share. I’m practicing daily to be quiet more, to be more silent, to listen and just be. It’s difficult at times because I am so incredibly happy, that I want those around me to feel the same way.

Today I received a message that brought things into new perspective and confirmed what I already am feeling inside. The message told me to NOT quiet my voice for the critics who we all are being made out to be liars and “crazies” by those who are still stuck in the ways of the old, oppressive systems. She said I must speak my joy as much as possible, and I knew that. It’s exactly how I feel, and it feels right. She told me to be silent in my words. I had to understand that. I did understand it, but I had to break it down for myself. How is one silent in their words?

Then I understood. I must not argue, not try to explain myself, not try to say ‘this is what you should believe” but to simply just continue being love and light. Either it will dispel the darkness or eventually, those critics too, will awaken to the truth. I should continue speaking my joy, spreading these wonderful energies and not give regard to these critics.

The more I surround myself with this light the answers continue to be perfectly clear. We are all on a conscious level of fast movement towards the light. As much as we want to ‘rescue’ others, we cannot. They must, in their own free will, make a choice to step away from the chains of their darkness and wake up. All we light workers can do is continue being light, continue being love, smile towards their sadness, sending them all of the best energies to assist them in their journey towards the light and collective oneness. I get it. I understand.

Many of us have made this journey, traveling so far, even from childhood. I am one of them, and I often can feel quite angry about the damages that have been done to humans and to this earth by the darkness that fights to keep its grip. It’s grip is slipping most quickly.   I feel an urgency to send to them all of the L.O.V.E. we can, that their hearts will be mended, that the continual stripping of this earth for greed consumption, the participation of humanity to that greed consumption and the lost wanderers will too, find their way to the center of what is all encompassing… L.O.V.E.

So I say to my critics, that I love you just as much as I did when I was wandering in the darkness, when you somehow found a commonality with me. I ask you now, to look in the mirror and ask yourself “Why now, that she walks with light and love, do I not longer feel a familiarity with her?” Why can you no longer feel a kinship with one who has chosen to leave the darkness and enter the light?

Sending all my love to you, because sending my love doesn’t drain me… Love is an ever constant river which never runs dry.