The Rock That Once Held My Child Heart

Once after we had shucked the summer corn,
the silk strands in a pile beneath sun baked leaves,
I found a heart shaped rock inside the hardened earth
where the potatoes grew.

Treasured, I wrapped it with twine, tying the end
to the tattered strings inside of my pocket.
When the winds blew my joy away to the
dark rain clouds that gathered;
or the loud voices of the screaming rage
sunk into my child ears like wax buildup,
my hair matted from tears, questions to why
i suffered so.

My tiny fingers grasped around the smoothed
stone edges, gathered pieces of twine
between my thumb and forefinger;
eyes closed, I chanted in rhythm to the
silent strokes of my rock guitar strings
in moments when I stood alone
inside the evil tendrils of the Devil's hair
disguised as Pastors adorned with prayer.

I became my rock's heart
where stood a girl, touched by danger;
scathed by the constant anger
of their curled lip scorn.

I slept encased within the stone
covering my ears as the picks chipped at
the flakes; as demons scratched their way inside;
as my skirt was lifted I cried
no longer assured that the weighted gem
I had tethered to my billowing pannier
would stop the hands from reaching under.

Not even stone could protect me
from the hounds that would infect me.
But still I wonder to where it fled;
the rock that once held my child heart.

Does it remember my anguish,
my panic or my pleas?
Does it sing in the night like I used to;
or hide its head beneath the scratchy wool
blanket in the belief that if I stayed out of sight
they wouldn't come for me?

Does it remember my refusal to succumb,
or give me credit for my strength
even though I was only eight?

Does it sleep beneath the haven of the waves
because it finally found its way to the ocean
where the sand is left with heart shaped
foot prints, the only remnant remaining as
an indication that still there walks the rock
that once held my child heart?

copyright @ Vennie 2009